Seek support - talk to a counsellor or attend a self-help group for families such as Gam-Anon. Counsellors and self help groups are skilled in helping you to learn how to communicate effectively, reduce your guilt and raise your self esteem.
Acknowledge the problem to children using age appropriate language and detail
Recognize your partner's good qualities
Stay calm when discussing gambling and its consequences with your partner
Tell your partner that you are seeking help for yourself
Acknowledge the your partner's need for treatment and be prepared for the time investment required for treatment
Negotiate and put into place controls on the management of family finances. If the gambler is unwilling, you may have to make arrangements to protect your own finances as much as possible.
Lecture or preach
Act as though you are a better person than the person with the problem
Threaten or give ultimatums unless you plan to follow through
Gamble with your partner
Exclude the individual from family activities
Expect an immediate recovery - change takes time and commitment
Lend money to, or bail out the gambler
Deny or make excuses about the problem to yourself, family or others